I hate SIDS

Hi Baby Ray. I miss you today. I miss you so much. I had a good weekend with your Mimi and Grandpa and Aunt, Uncles, and Sammy. Sammy is officially older than you are. He's rolling over from his back to his tummy and we took him swimming. I'm sorry you never got to do those things. It's bitter sweet to have Sam. I love that little guy so much. I just wish you were still here to play and grow with him. You family made a weighted "Ray Bear" for me. I laid it on my chest in bed like you used to lay. It helped take away some of the emptiness that I have felt for the last month and a half. The girls from work also got me a Lladro of a mom and baby. It is beautiful. It helps and hurts at the same time because I wish I could hold you like that again. Oh Sweet Boy, I miss you tonight. I don't know how to move on. I don't want to because it means life continues without you. I hate SIDS for taking you away from me. I know God's arms are so much better, but you were safe in mine too. Watch for the red balloons tomorrow. One of my patients and I are going to let a bunch go for you. I hope you like them. Mommy loves you, sweet boy.