Ray Gregory Labat

On 1/11/11 my life changed forever. I had taken my happy, sweet, smiling baby to daycare that morning. Dropped him off. Went to work. At 9:30 or 9:45 a sheriff and chaplain showed up at my office and asked to talk to me. They took me into a conference room and told me Ray was found at daycare not breathing. My response, "He's ok now though, right?" They told me it didn't look good. I screamed and started crying. They took me to the hospital, I called my husband, Adam, and my dad on the way. I told them Ray wasn't breathing. When we got to the hospital they were preparing me to see Ray while doctors were working on him. Being a nurse, I had an idea of what to expect. The chaplain opened the door and then closed it again. He told me they were no longer working on Ray. When we went in Ray was in his diaper, wrapped in a blanket, laying on a cart. I ran and picked him up. I remember looking at my pediatrician and asking him what happened. Why is my baby dead? He explained to me that there was no answer, but he suspected SIDS. When Ray was found (after only being down for 15 mins) he had no pulse. They were never able to get a heart rate back. His official time of death is 9:22 am. We were able to take Ray to the chapel and keep him all day. Both of our families live 4-5 hours away. We kept Ray until our families came. We had professional pictures taken, we had 3D hand and feet molds done, we had a piece of his hair cut off. We have amazing things to remind us of our son. There was a prayer service at the hospital and then we let Ray go. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Fast forward to today. 1 month and 2 days without Ray. 1 month and 2 days since I last held and kissed my baby boy. 1 month and 2 days of feeling empty inside. 1 month and 2 days of talking about more kids. We are trying now. Ray taught me how much love I have to give. He tought me how much I want to be a mother. He taught me what life is really about. So here we go....trying for baby #2. Trying for a sibling for Ray.