Negative

Well. Had my labs drawn today. I'm not pregnant. It was so easy for us to get pregnant with Ray. I wanted a baby so badly this time. I'm mad and sad and heartbroken. I'm not sure trying to have another baby is worth all this pain when it doesn't happen. I'm not sure I want to continue trying. I'm not sure I can go through the excitement of thinking we might be pregnant and then being crushed when we aren't. I feel like we have had enough heartache this year. I don't understand why we have to continue to go through this whenever there is hope of something good. I don't understand why my baby died in the first place and now why we have to try again and why we aren't pregnant. Today,I hate this. Todayi just want to give up. I don't know where to go from here.