Our first visit to Ray

We went to see Ray last Sunday. We stopped to pick up a plack that said "Perhaps the stars are loved ones letting us know they are near, by guiding us through the night.", and some flowers. We knew there were flowers still there from the funeral, so we also had a large garbage bag to clean up his grave. When we pulled up we both got very tearful. It's so hard to see where my baby is buried. It opens all the wounds that Ray dying left. It brought back all the emotions related to losing him. Adam had a hard time picking up the dead flowers, so I started. We cleaned everything up. We left the hockey pucks, baseballs, and football Uncle Adam brought for him. Uncle Justin, Aunt Abbie, and Sammy had brought a twins bear and left a card for Ray and us. Justin's mom had sent an angel with two red balloons tied to it. We moved everything to the head of the grave. We left our plack and flowers with him as well. Adam and I spent some time walking by our family members that are there. We walked across the path to the baby cemetery. We had a very hard time leaving Ray. It was the first time we have been so close to him since he died. Leaving him felt like losing him all over again. It was a very lonely and empty feeling again. I miss him so much all the time.

Ray, Mommy and Daddy miss you. We love you forever and always. I'm sorry we had to leave you again, but we will be back soon. I promise. Love you Sweet Boy.